This crazy little thing called love...

I have been pondering love mostly in response to Valentines Day. While I believe that Valentine's Day is very overrated, love on the other hand is not. Please indulge me. :)

I realized what a powerful state love is. I am also now realizing how much depth there is to the many different types of love. The other morning I found myself just in awe of the love I feel for my children. This love floods your body at different times for parents, but I think it happens repeatedly, not just at one moment. For me that same thing happens with our spouse or significant other. We may fall in love once with that person, but we are reignited or we refresh that love with the moments that make our body flood with feeling. You know that feeling where you want to cry over, hug, or kiss whoever it is aimed at. But most surprisingly is how infants are born loving their mother. Kids just love you...plain and simple. Can you imagine anything more precious than that? Anyway, I was also contemplating the many types of love too! Just think of all your relationships and how different each is. The basic foundation of love is at the core, but it manifests in different ways and deepens at different rates and levels. Truly amazing. (Am I a nerd to even be so mystified by this?)

I always knew my mom loved me, but I didn't fully grasp it until I had my own kids. Now, I wonder how she let us go as we grew up. How did she function once those little moments with her children are not happening as frequently as they are for me with my kids being so young? My mom once told me that she knew and felt her parents love by the way they loved her kids (among other things). I think that is the key to how she functions with us (me and Coursey) gone. My love runs deeper for my mom, too, as she loves and nurtures my children as her grandchildren. I honestly can't think of any other thing she could do to nurture me or to show her love for me than to truly love and give affection and attention to my children. I hope I can remember that when my kids are grown and I feel like my purpose as a mom is gone. I hope I can find my way to honor them through their children. Right now I can't imagine the hole/void I will feel on that day. Love remains, but actions to show it are different...that will be the key.

Love is the most changing state of being. It can help one develop patience when others are intolerant or impatient. (spouses and kids are a primary example) How many times have you passed judgement on another's marriage or kid saying, "I don't know how he/she stands him or tolerates that?" I have said it many times, but the sad truth is we aren't perfect and neither are the ones we love. It is our love for one another that makes us feel complete in our imperfection. We feel accepted and loved therefore we do the same for the other. It is the unwritten code of a relationship. Love helps you find beauty where others may miss it. That is how we each find our special someone. Love. It opens your eyes to people, experiences, and relationships that you may never notice. That is how your love continues to grow throughout a relationship since there are always more experiences that give you more knowledge and help you love them even more. I fully believe that the best thing you can do for anyone in your life is to just truly love them. Some experts say that is the single most important part of parenting. It sounds easy as an ideal, but really can be a lot harder in practice. My kids will grow up having heard, "I love you," millions of times. I even end a mean mommy moment with an apologetic "I love you." I say it so much to them. I've never said it that much to anyone. I just don't want them to ever forget. That would be my total failure and such a tragedy. Although, you don't need to say it to relay the message, it is just my way to speak it. Sometimes it is a means to talk myself off the ledge of a crazy mom war path. But usually it is just how I feel and expressing it makes it real and gives it legs.

I have been blessed to be one of those people who can easily forgive and easily find something to love in almost everyone. At times that has been to a fault. My husband will attest to the many idiots I've dated or the terrible friendships I have indulged because I cannot overlook that one amazing quality. I have since learned to love and still protect my heart because you cannot love haphazardly. But, I will say I am grateful to be able to teach my children by example of how hard it is to love and forgive. At the end of the day isn't it easier to love than to hate? Isn't that what we are supposed to do...find the charity and love for others?

Mostly, I just cannot believe in a humans ability to love so many so completely. I think of and feel like the Grinch whose heart grows in size. There is always room. I have so many dear friends. Some have known me for years and others came during different phases in my life and some are newer friends. There is always room for a really good friend. You know the ones that you cannot imagine how you haven't known them your entire life. New love...the heart makes room. On a more spiritual note, this superhero ability to love is just like our Savior. It is the back bone of our human kindness. It is the base of every real relationship. Really, it is what makes this life worth living. Can you imagine your world without love? I am thankful for it. I am thankful for the moments. I am thankful to be able to express it to my kids, my husband, my family, and my friends. I am thankful to be loved...by my Savior, my family, my kids, my friends.

Sorry for the journal entry that should really stay in a journal...:) But, I know those few readers out there love me anyway!

"Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love..."