"You can't have a normal life!"

Well, today what I always suspected was made crystal clear to me.

Rob and I were talking and I sarcastically said, "I just want a normal life."

In response to this statement Luke said, "You can't have a normal life!"

I was holding back both my tears and my laughter and said, "Why can't I have a normal life, Luke, what is stopping me?" (a guess it was a leading question.)

My brutally honest son said, "I am and my daddy are stopping you and you can't have a normal life."

AHA! I knew it wasn't a figment of my imagination...the feeling of running on a hamster wheel and getting nowhere! J/K I thought that was pretty funny especially because I wasn't complaining about my life and he has no idea what a normal life is. He just thought I wanted to change something and he didn't like that idea. Kids say the craziest things!

Disclaimer: It is true that the normal life I once knew doesn't exist, but the new normal is one I would never exchange for anything else in the world. OK, well I guess I would prefer meals without food on the floor and not waking up to whines and cries, but other than that, I love my normal life.

Help! Indulgence is my vice!

Today was my stake conference. Rob went alone and I attended last night. Today he filled me in on one speaker's talk on indulgence. Overall, I do agree that we, as a society, are incredibly indulgent. I have a really hard time admitting my own indulgence. Do I feel entitled? I know plenty of people that have what I call the "entitlement mentality." I don't feel that I represent that type of person. However, I do treat myself to any food, treat, or "indulgence" that I see fit as my little reward for making it through my day.

I like to think I am more a creature of habit than an indulgent one. For example, shortly after Carys was born I discovered Chocolate Dipped Sundae Cones. For every day that I made it through when Rob was gone late, I got my ice cream treat as I unwound on the couch or in bed. I did see it as a reward. I looked forward to it during the day and planned when I would buy more so never to run out of my treat. Well, my adjustment to two kids finally got easier and I didn't need the reward, but I did begin my ice cream habit. (I gladly state that I no longer am slave to the chocolate dipped cones.)

This same cycle has occured with fast food, shopping, movies, tivo, or whatever I decide I "deserve" for the day. I paid little attention to the expense. I paid little attention to the fat calories. I paid little attention to how much time my kids are in the car. Perhaps it was my escape? Who knows, but as Rob and I discussed the problem of indulgence in lives and families, I felt guilt. My friends know that it doesn't take much to make me feel guilty, but in this instance it was well placed. It is healthy guilt and I truly need to reassess my life. Am I teaching my kids the same cycle of indulgence and rewards. Am I being short-sighted rather than looking to the future? My husband would answer with a hearty, "yes!" Most of the indulgence brings immediate joy and really doesn't bring too much long term happiness...just ask my thighs and disorganized house that have both been neglected. Actually, I can happily say the changes have already begun this fall, so I can rest easier knowing I am on the path of least indulgence...well, maybe after I eat my chocolate for the night! :)

Walkin' and Talkin' little shadow

So, we've had quite a week with Carys. She is walking everywhere finally. Yesterday she was in her skunk costume and it was adorable to watch her wobble with her tail swinging back and forth. For those of you who know me, you know I have long awaited the moment when I can just put her down! She is a load! Of course along with this wonderful new skill comes the shadow phase. You moms out there know this feeling. The supposed independent walkers latch to your leg or follow you wherever you go. Hence, your little shadow has appeared. :)

Now that Carys can walk she has to find a new way to get me. Last night, she yelled, "MAMA." I was thrilled at her little attempt to make me come back as I was speedily walking away, leaving her with Rob. (all the while knowing she wouldn't be that happy with my departure) Of course, I did turn around and make a huge deal about her calling me. She could tell I was happy and I was.

Not only is this a breakthrough for her, but it is a big one in my mommy world. Luke called me, "Ba" until he was nearly 2. Carys has been calling me, "da." I know the books say "da-da," is easier for babies to say, but who is the one nurturing these kids practically 24 hours a day? Can't I at least get a "mama?" Seriously, Luke called my mom, "emom," my grandmother, "mom mom," grandma was ,"ammom," and I was,"BA!" Let's just hope Carys keeps up the MAMA and I can bask in the glory for a while until she is talking up a storm and you wish they never knew your name! (But, Mom, I want to! or Mom, please can I...?)

Another first for Carys was the lollipop! A nice mommy at church gave her the first tootsie pop she's ever had. It was sticky. It was red. It tasted like watermelon, with tootsie roll inside. It was all over her face, hands, and clothes. It was all a lollipop should be. She LOVED it! We loved watching her savor every last lick. She even "Mmm"ed while she sucked on it. It was great and it kept her quiet. I'd say her second Halloween is off to a yummy start!
(thanks Alysia!)

I am giving this blog thing another whirl!

Ok, so it has been over a year since I attempted a blog. Lately, I've had the itch to try again. My update is pretty much the same. Rob is still in school, but it is his last year! Carys is 16 months and finally starting to walk with some confidence. Luke is an amazing toddler with so much to say. He is in preschool and loves it. I have turned over a new leaf and have begun to work-out. Those of you who know me, know that this is no small feat. My only problem is that my eating habits aren't willing to change. :) We have a new addition to our family...Captain Hook. He is a big shaggy golden-doodle puppy with tons of enthusiasm. Sometimes that is wonderful and other times, I want to lock him outside with the scraps of my chair or paper towels he shred while I was out. I am still blown away by the cute things my kids do and I love how new life is for them. One of Luke's cutest sayings is, "I am possibility Luke, that means I can do what I want, Mom, I am possibility Luke." I will use this blog to store these cute things and my HMMM moments as a mom, wife, woman, friend, and just plain old Julie!

You know you're a mom of a toddler when...

your best argument for humming in the car when your three year old tells you to stop is, "I was humming first!"

I am often puzzled by the immature comments that come out of my mouth when I am dealing with my kids. I don't know if it is the exhaustion talking or that the majority of my conversations are with a 3 year old and 1 year old, but sometimes I sound like I am 3! Today I literally argued like my son does. The other day, I found myself telling Luke, "I don't want to, Luke!" in a really whiny voice. Do I think he will understand better if I speak and sound like him? It is like that commercial with the mom that talks baby-talk all day long and then goes out for the evening with her hubby and accidentally speaks baby-talk to him.

I just hope I don't start behaving like a 3 year old. My friend, Kristi and I often laugh at the possibility of throwing fits and crying like a kid when we don't get our way or get angry. In some ways it is so simple and may even bring some relief from our adult ways of keeping things pent up. Just imagine it...a little screaming, a little kicking, a lot of crying and stomping, maybe we could even go to time-out to cool down, but darn it if we wouldn't get that little black dress we want or the nice house with a garage. And boy those who ticked us off would know they did so!

Maybe these little toddlers are on to something.