Parenting Challenge Update

Day Two: Do not bicker with your spouse/partner about anything in front of the kids...no matter what.

What? Who me? Bicker with my spouse in front of the kids? NEVER! That NEVER happens in this house. I am always super careful to quietly stomp with Rob (holding hands while humming to 10) into the bedroom where I whisper-shout my feelings about whatever ticked (oops, I mean mildly irritated) me. I promise instead of reminding Rob (in a nasty tone) to "take out the trash!" for the fortieth time, I flirtatiously smile,wink and say, "honey, it would make my day if you would take out the trash today, " (followed by a huge smooch). I always say, "Wow, what a great driver you are, honey!" especially when the kids are in the car and I NEVER EVER tell him how to parent our kids particularly when he lets one run into the street without looking...dads will be dads, right? Oh, and Rob is ALWAYS right and wins every argument/tiff.

The Truth?
I needed this one big time! I cannot tell you how many times I caught myself about to correct, tease, or snap in sarcasm at Rob in front of the kids! It is no wonder they like him better most days! They know how much we love each other, but I think the message they get when we bicker is very negative. I can sometimes see it in the way Luke and Carys treat/talk to each other. I took this challenge on the day that happened to be a day when Rob and the kids were home due to snow. I think it went well. I found myself feeling more patient and loving towards him and I think it helped his response towards me as well. We had a great day together! Plus, it was a stressful and busy day with cleaning and such. My kids, I am sure, would benefit from this being an everyday occurrence. I will not lie...it is something I will have to work on. I think I am a bit of a control freak in the non-conventional way (meaning I don't need organization). I tend to like the house to run my way and therefore the parenting is mostly my way too. Rob is a very hands-on dad so I have learned to let him do it his way and my kids love that time and the different style/environment it provides occasionally. But, I am TERRIBLE in the car! I HATE when Rob is driving! I like to drive. I like my speed, my defensive driving, and my control in keeping us safe. The bottom line is that I make him nuts, I know. I know my kids pick up on it, too!

The Ugly Truth?
Only a few days later, I really did yell at Rob for letting Carys cross the street without looking. I was waiting in the entry of a Taco Bell with a friend and Luke. Rob was getting the other two out of the car. I saw Carys take off across the street and I was behind the glass banging and yelling (as if Rob could hear me) because I saw a car coming (fear). Luckily the car saw Carys, but still I was not a happy mommy at that moment and I did chastise him publicly...sorry Rob, you really are a great dad and I never really worry about the kids in your care. So, I failed at keeping it up, but vow to keep trying.

I hope I can continue to make the effort keep this challenge going until it is no longer a challenge for me. My current behavior does NOT adequately reflect my feelings about my hubby and I do NOT want my kids thinking it does. I want them to see my fun-loving relationship and how much respect is actually there between husband and wife and hopefully they will be as fortunate as we were to find each other.

(The next challenge was postponed for a few days, but will resume soon.)