"It is too late to apologize!"

Here's part of the story and scene:

Row of three in the back of a full flight.
Luke by the window, mom in the middle, dad on the aisle, Carys playing musical chairs with mom and dad, but mostly standing on mom.
"Mom?! I want to color!"
Dropped crayons on the floor rolling around so Luke unbuckles to find them. Carys wants to join the hunt and activity.
My foot gets stepped on twice and Carys bumps her head...intense scream follows.
Crayons retrieved.
"Mom?! I'm hungry."
"But you just had lunch."
"No, but Mom, I want to eat a snack."
Carys, too, wants whatever Luke has...monkey see monkey do...just go to sleep!!!
Oh No! Spilled goldfish and sticky granola bar being spit out of Carys' mouth onto my lap...thanks! ( which I later realized was stuck in my velour pants on my butt!)
Now Carys decides that this airplane ride is too boring.
She kicks the chair. She screams for no apparent reason off and on for 2.5 hours.
Mom gets her almost to sleep when an obnoxious grandma two rows up stops by to wake her up with stupid questions, "DO you ears hurt?"
Obnoxious Grandma continues to the bathroom...yes, carys is settled again.
Nope! Obnoxious grandma is back!!! With pictures of HER grand kids!!! (obviously a quiet nearly sleeping child isn't cue enough that we aren't in a conversational mode). (I suppose an "I don't care," would've made her go away.)
She then, tickles my nearly sleeping child's foot! (what is wrong with her? didn't she hear the screaming?!!!!) I wanted to shoot her a look that could kill, but the nice Julie wouldn't let the mean Julie come out and play.
Well, no nap.
A lot of screaming and fighting and reprimanding and chair kicking.
Carys would only sit on my lap.
You mean we have to do this on another leg and on the return flight?! (sobbing in my mind)

Here's the thought:

I used to fly with Luke and was ultra sensitive to people and their comfort on the plane. I apologized profusely before and after flights for my ill-mannered baby/toddler. "Well, it's too late to apologize...it's too late." (are you singing that song yet?) I have now realized I am hardened. I don't really care about other stranger's comfort. Am I comfortable flying with two kids screaming in my ear? Am I trying my best? So, with the second kid I have decided that I do not need to apologize for my place/stage in life. Yes, kids can be a pain in the butt when traveling, but we paid for this flight and there aren't many other options to go across country that would yield different results. Besides, does apologizing after Carys kicks a chair for the third time really make it better? No, it doesn't. Do you ever feel like as mom's that is what we do? Apologize? I swear I could have been rich for every "I'm sorry," I doled out on behalf of my kids. It is ridiculous. They are kids. We are human. This is life. We are moms, as insane as we may feel, who are doing are best to raise well-behaved respectful individuals. I own the fact that I have a toddler who screams and a preschooler who constantly talks at me in a loud voice. I own the fact that my boy has a lot of energy and curiosity. I own the fact that my daughter has a zest for life and is passionate about everything. So, no I am not sorry they are doing what kids do and I am doing what moms do. Hey, I felt this was a sort of break-through for me, so I feel empowered in an odd way. Now I hope i don't fall to the other side of being rude and selfish or I will have to apologize for not apologizing. :) Balance in all things I guess.

Here's my positive spin:

The kids were great in Utah as we did tons of family stuff. The kids were great on the return flight. Carys must have figured out how to fly as she sat nicely and slept and ate and DID NOT kick the chair! WOO HOO! I even thought, "Hey, I may be able to do this alone sometime...or not!" :)